There is a specific moment when it happens. For some it is the third ghost in a year. For some it is the man who said all the right things for four months and then simply stopped. Whatever the moment, you build something around yourself, something careful and controlled and just a little harder than you used to be, and you call it standards. But the same walls that keep the wrong men out also keep the right man at a distance.
Here is how to stay soft without staying naive.