You have started narrating his behavior to friends using softer words than what actually happened, because saying it plainly would mean admitting how much it has been costing you. Say it plainly here instead.
Let yourself name the behavior exactly as it lands on you, without softening it or explaining it away. Your honesty gives this reflection a clearer view of the dynamic you are living with.
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This reflection draws on established concepts in attachment psychology and emotional wellbeing research. It is meant for personal insight, not as a clinical diagnosis.